faking my way out of a style slump

I spend a lot of time thinking about clothes and style, my style specifically. For the amount of time I spend thinking about all things fashion/clothes/style related (and those are three different things), I spend very little time managing my own, including getting myself dressed each day. When I don’t plan ahead (and lately, I never plan ahead), I wind up overwhelmed by options and opportunities. Usually, though, I don’t leave enough time to dance around a decision. I have to choose now and put something on so I’m not embarrassingly late to work, which means I end up with what is comfortable, both physically and mentally.

Have you ever put something on and left the house, only to feel self-conscious about your outfit during the day? I have high hopes and expectations for myself, so I shop with the best intentions and occasionally buy things I’m a little nervous to wear. So now I have a closet that’s half jeans-tees-sneakers, and half wonderful, stylish items that sometimes go unseen entirely.

And so often I want to wear one or more of those things, but I chicken out. Why is that? Have I done it to myself? I think yes, in part by reinforcing bad habits and creating a certain style in front of others that isn’t expressive of my full range. What I mean is: I woke up in a rush and continued to choose an outfit that was deep within my comfort zone – jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers. Don’t mistake me for someone without a style, I have a very well-curated collection of trendy jeans, tees, and sneaks. Probably because they make me comfortable. But my truth is that I have a lot more style within me as well as in my closet. And, of course, this is a limitation I have placed fully on myself. No one put me inside this box, I just climbed right in.

So I’ve decided to go for it. I want to have fun and enjoy the seasons. I want to express myself and be unafraid. At this juncture, “confident” might be too strong. But at the very least, I want to get dressed without hesitating. What this really means now is a bit of a lifestyle change. I have to plan my outfits ahead. Check the weather (and double-check again in the morning), and put together an outfit for the next day. I have to wake up when my FIRST alarm goes off, not my fourth or fifth.

Here are some reminders (not written by me) that I like to reflect on when I feel like I’ve been a tardy, disorganized human. And right now, that’s exactly how I feel.

While these phrases can be applied to pretty much anything you want to do, I really feel them in this situation. I miss getting dressed to get dressed; taking time and finding the perfect combination of items to express myself any particular day. I miss the feeling of success when I get everything done for myself in a morning, and I miss feeling confident (yes, CONFIDENT) about the way I look.

I like to think that others out there have had or are having similar experiences with waning and waxing expression of style. I hope that sharing my feelings and journeying back into finding my style-self is helpful, or at least amusing to follow.

Wish me luck, love, hate, or indifference.

Imani Clovis

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